The #1 Myth You Must Abandon to Create Peace and Fulfillment in Your Life

Life is often a busy and chaotic experience.

I can't remember the last time I heard someone say, "You know, not much is going on in my life right now.  I need to add more to my plate."

Usually, the comments I hear are, "I don't know how I'm going to get through my calendar this week or month!  Just when I think I'm going to get a break, something else lands in my lap."

With everything we have to do and the feeling that there aren't enough hours in the day, it's no surprise that we're feeling stressed and frustrated.  When we want to make a change, whether it's to start something good or stop something bad, we often lack the mental and emotional capacity to plan it out, let alone tackle the obstacles and challenges that come with change.

Maybe you don't directly relate to these scenarios.

Perhaps you live a very structured lifestyle.  You're disciplined with your time and management, but you still feel stuck when it comes to making a change or reaching a goal.  This can seem even more confusing because from your organized perspective, it looks achievable.

Stress, more often than not, isn't about time.

It's about the hierarchy of beliefs and protocols running inside you.

Often, you have hidden priorities that are not readily apparent, and they will remain in effect unless you take the time to investigate.  It's time to have a conversation with yourself.

I know, we've probably all heard that talking to ourselves is a sign of being crazy, but that's the #1 myth to dismiss if you want peace and fulfillment.  The truth is, we're always talking to ourselves.

It's called thinking.

The real problem lies in not talking back.

I'm a southerner, and I was raised not to backtalk.   I don't think the South has a monopoly on this, however.   I'm sure most of us learned that backtalking authority figures was disrespectful; after all, they are older, wiser, and have our best interests at heart, right?  ( Yes, yes, I know, depending on your life's experience, that's a whole 'nother kettle o' fish!   Hang tight.   I'll probably get to dealing with our authority figures in another post.)

So, back to thinking.   Our brain has been talking to us for longer than we can remember.   We listen to it constantly.   It says things very definitively.

...and we tend to take what it says at face value

...without questioning its assumptions.

Too often, we believe our brain is "older, wiser, and has our best interests at heart."

Our brain is the authority that we usually obey spontaneously.   We call these reactions.  And most of us can agree that many of our responses to various situations are less than stellar.

Yep, you guessed it; if you want to improve any area of your life, it's time to learn to backtalk yourself.

I'm not saying that you always work to pick a fight with yourself, and I'm definitely not suggesting that you beat yourself up or disrespect yourself.

However, you must learn to respectfully disagree when your brain

• presents unhealthy ideas and perspectives that tear you down
• claims a positive change in your life is impossible due to factors like time, ability, complexity, and energy.

It's time to question your brain's authority and bring it into a more collaborative conversation.

This reflective exercise will also help you get even better at detecting and resolving the Internal Arguments that keep you stuck, stressed, and frustrated.

Along with not backtalking, we learned many things in childhood.   Many of us learned things that weren't true, or at least weren't true all the time.   Children tend to learn concretely and want to know the rules.  It's how we learned to navigate the world.

But now we are grown.

If we are going to be happy, fulfilled, emotionally mature, and receptive adults, we're going to have to unlearn some of the things we thought were true and relearn healthier patterns.   It will make all the difference between reacting and response-ability.

It all starts with paying attention to what's happening between our ears, and having a two-way conversation.

So remember, it's always a good idea to talk and talk back to yourself!

RELATED READING:

What Keeps You Stuck?  The Answer May Surprise You!

The Roots of Stress Dig In So You Can Stop Stressing Out  

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