The #1 Myth You Must Abandon to Create Peace and Fulfillment in Your Life

Life is a hectic and chaotic ordeal.  I don't remember the last time I heard someone say, “You know, not much is going on in my life right now.  I need to add more to my plate.”

No, more often than not, the comments are, “I don't know how I'm going to get through my calendar this week/month!  Just when I think I'm going to get a break, something else drops into my lap.”

With everything we have to accomplish and the fact that there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day these days, it's no wonder that we're feeling more than a little stressed out and frustrated.

When we want to make a change, whether it's to start something good or to stop something bad, a lot of times, we just don't have the mental and emotional bandwidth to map it out...

…. much less overcome the inevitable obstacles and challenges that will come with the process of change.

Maybe you don't quite relate to these scenarios.  Perhaps you are someone who lives a very regimented lifestyle...

You are quite disciplined with your time commitments and management, but you still find yourself stuck when it comes to implementing a change or accomplishing a goal.  Often this is even more perplexing on the scale because it looks so doable from your organized point of view.

The problem, so very often, isn't about time.

It's about the hierarchy of beliefs and protocols running the show inside you.  You have priorities that you aren't necessarily conscious of having.

It's time to have a conversation with yourself.

I know, we've probably all heard that talking to ourselves is a sign of being crazy.  This is the #1 myth to abandon if you are going to have peace and fulfillment in your life because the Truth is that we are always talking to ourselves...

...it's called thinking.

The real problem lies with not talking back.

I'm a southerner, and I was raised not to backtalk.  I don't think the South has a corner on this, though.  I'm sure most of us were taught that back talking an Authority was disrespectful; after all, they are older, wiser, and have our best interests at heart...Right? ( Yes, yes, I know, depending on your life's experience, that's a whole 'nother kettle o' fish!  Hang tight.  I'll probably get to dealing with our authority figures in another post.)

So... back to thinking.  Our brain has been talking to us for longer than we can remember.  We listen to it constantly.  It says things very definitively.

...and we tend to take what it says at face value

...without questioning its assumptions.

We believe all too often that it is “older, wiser and has our best interests at heart.”  It is the Authority that we often obey spontaneously.  We call these reactions.

Yep, you guessed it; it's time to learn to backtalk yourself.

Now, I'm not saying that you always work to pick a fight with yourself.  I'm certainly not suggesting that you beat yourself up or disrespect yourself...

However, you must learn to respectfully disagree when you realize your brain is presenting ideas and perspectives that are not healthy, tearing you down, or telling you that a positive change in your life is impossible due to time, ability, and complexity, energy, etc.

This is where you question the brain's authority and bring it into a more collaborative conversation.  This will also help you get even better at detecting and resolving the Internal Arguments that keep you stuck, stressed, and frustrated.

Along with not back-talking, we learned many things in childhood.  Many of us were taught things that weren't true, or at least weren't true all the time.  Children tend to learn concretely and want to know the rules.  It's how we learned to navigate the world.

But now we are grown...

If we are going to be happy, fulfilled, emotionally mature, and available adults, we're going to have to unlearn some of the things we thought were true and relearn healthier patterns.  It will make all the difference between reacting and response-ability.

It all starts with paying attention to what's happening between our ears...

...and having a two-way conversation.

So remember, it's always a good idea to talk and talk back to yourself!

 Tell me about it...Literally!

Life always gives us challenges that often cause us stress.  Which roots are feeding your stress equation?  I'd love to know what is challenging you the most, so I can post more content that will help you.  Click here to give me your feedback.  It'll take about 5 minutes, and it might lead to making a real difference in your life. (no email required)